Super Meat B- I mean, The Binding of Isaac is a rogue-like.
What's a rogue-like? I'm not sure. The Internet says The Binding of Isaac is a rogue-like...therefore a rogue-like is a The-Binding-Of-Isaac-like!
In rogue-likes you control a naked, crying child through a short series of dungeons (your basement), shooting your tears at your enemies and eventually fighting your mom, or Satan, or your mom's heart, or some other boss I haven't discovered yet. If you're good enough, you can beat this game in 18-minutes (although more likely thirty). If you die, you have to restart from the beginning. And every replay feels like a fresh experience for of a bunch of reasons, which I'll review a little later. For now I want to give you an idea of what the game looks like; take a gander at this screen shot:
Oh wait, sorry. That's Edmund McMillen.
Take a look at THIS screen shot:
To orient you into understanding the picture, the blonde one is you, and the blood-coughing one is one of the game's many bosses. (You don't have to be blonde. That hair belongs to an unlockable character)
Now that you've witnessed the screenshot, you're probably thinking something like, "What in the name of God is this?!"
This, my friends, is a screenshot from a game about a boy named Isaac who is about to be sacrificed, by his hyper-religious mother, to God (the year is 2011). He escapes into the basement (Isaac, not God) and must fight against disgusting enemies. These enemies tend to shoot and leave trails of blood, have their innards showing, and, in a few cases, make poo, which may contain hidden items. The game also features urine and gore. The art style makes it look cute.
You might have heard about how Nintendo refused to publish The Binding of Isaac on the 3Ds because of its controversial anti-religious people commentary:
But don't worry Christian & Jewish gamers! The whole game comments on religiousness. And not just by featuring ecclesiastical stars like the seven deadly sins, but also via its random level generation, which not just makes every playthrough of the game feel fresh, but also makes the game difficulty somewhat random playthrough to playthrough. And yes, this is definitely a religious thing; I'll explain.
On some playthroughs the items you find just won't be that useful (or maybe they'll be super useful). Sometimes levels will end (or interrupt) with bosses you never faced in previous playthroughs, suddenly making the game much more challenging than you felt it was going to be. Sometimes rooms you enter will have a layout and a monster selection that don't give you much maneuvering-room. And, my favorite, sometimes you will clear a room, and a cool item will appear, but it will be surrounded by an abyss you can't cross; it's like the game is playing life, mocking you for your bad luck. Or maybe, this playthrough, you will have good luck. Or both! I am pretty sure all this is a form of religious commentary (IN GAME FORM). Many games critics would consider this random difficultyness "bad game design" because: players will bump into things that do not compliment their current skill levels. But, because of the religious theme, I find that it is genius.
There are more than seventy items you can pick up (weapons, powerups, pills with unknown effects, etc.), and all of them make a visual change to your character. How cool it looks to see your depressed naked child wear your mom's heels! Or your mom's bra! Or your mom's pad?!
But at the must-talk-about heart of this game is its gameplay, which is indeed challenging, and is based on the four arrow keys and the WAS and D. On default, the latter buttons are for moving left, right, up, down, and the former buttons are for shooting and looking in said directions. You also get the letter "Q" to use the one-time-use item, and the spacebar to use the rechargeable power you currently carry. It's very easy to learn and very hard to master. And although it may seem like you're too limited game-mechanically, you will quickly learn things like: moving while shooting to make your tears fire diagonally.
You also get bombs (Zelda style; the ones that look like cannon balls with fuses). I forgot which default button drops them. (And yes, you can switch up buttons, and you can download a certain file to allow for gamepad support, if you want).
Okay, I just made a features list. Truth is, all I really want to do is gush about this game. The Binding of Isaac is the game I wish Diablo II had been. One that has visually-interesting, stat-boosting RPG items, and a random-level generator, but isn't based on grinding your life away to obtain said stat-boosting loot, without which you wouldn't win. Unlike Diablo II this is an action RPG that rewards you for your skill and always gives you something new and interesting (until you've finally played through everything). The Binding if Isaac is fun, full of personality, and not addictive.
I am very excited about its expansion.
★★★★★
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Note to self: Make a list of things that need to be talked about before composition, otherwise me'll have crappy introductions and no organization, like in this review.
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