Day Z Coop Day 1

During the latest Steam Summer Sale I bought my high school Mormon friend Armed Assault II: Combined Operations. Before that purchase, I was worried that his parents would run out of reasons to think I'm evil. No seriously I bought it for him because I felt he'd learn beautiful things about human nature while playing it. I.e. I wanted to play DayZ with someone.

I had no idea if he would enjoy Dayz until Wednesday, when, before we had even played it together, he told me that DayZ was "amazing."


Without me asking, he said, "I played DayZ with six friends! And you didn't, and you played the game by yourself for twelve hours!"

After this horrible, bad conversation we started our DayZ coop. Here's what happened on day one.

First we spawned six kilometers away from each other. He was killed by zombies. I killed myself. Suicide is an important part of the DayZ experience, especially if you play it by yourself...

But this time I killed myself because we figured if we respawned enough times we would eventually spawn close to each other. And we were right. We both spawned at the 2nd largest city, Elektro.

As we headed north, towards the town center from the port, my friend caught the attention of a crawling zombie. He decided - against my advice of simply outrunning the crawling zombie - to climb up a ladder onto a building. Then, against my advice, he decided to run over the gap between roofs. He fell down said gap and broke his legs.

The zombie lost track of him.

He tried to kill himself, but because he was in shock or something the game wouldn't let him pull up the menu with the suicide button.

I didn't have any morphene to mend his bones (yes, that's what morphene does), so I decided to drag his body into the ocean. We fell into the ocean. He regained control of his controls and committed suicide, so my plan worked. Ten minutes later I was killed by zombies.

I spawned in Elektro's port again. My friend respawned a couple kilometers away; we agreed to meet north of Elektro at a powerplant. I swam to the west side of the city and sneaked past the infamous westside-of-Elektro zombies, reaching a forest. Northwest of the town, I saw the powerplant half a kilometer away, to the North of Elektro. Then shots. Bandits were trying to kill my Mormon friend!

Long story short, he was cornered by two assholes, and he tried to kill the assholes with a hatchet. Unfortunately his hatchet attack was soundly countered by their gun-firing strategy. He totally died, lol.

An hour after we had started playing, we met at a barn north of the city. There we found junk, and we alt-tabbed to our browsers to map our course. The Internet has maps, like this one. We decided that we should go to the barn northeast of the Topolka Dam. We needed something to drink, and we knew large barns tended to have survival goods (actually they tend to have empty soda cans).

On the way to said barn, we found a few zombies wandering the wilderness, an uncommon thing. My friend said, "I'm gonna kill one with my axe! Watch my mad skills, Paul!"
I responded with: "I don't think you should try killing any zombies right now. Seriously, don't kill any zombies. And remember the last time you didn't do what I said. You broke your legs and committed suicide in the ocean." As I was reminding him of how amazingly smart I was, from behind us this zombie attacks. "Look out!" I dramatically yelled. I pulled out my axe and murdered the zombie. We slaughtered the others. One of them had canned food :)

Eventually we reached that barn. In it were seven hatchets and a crowbar; my friend took the crowbar; later on he dropped the crowbar.

After deciding to murder all the zombies around the barn, we noticed that we would soon begin dying of thirst; we proceeded to the nearest town.

The next two hours shortened into seven sentences - we ended up hunting zombies with our axes. Our blood (or health) was low, but from the bodies of the undead, we had the soda we needed to quench our thirst.

The server crashed. We joined another server.

Later on we met up with one of the my friend's friends. He was wearing a ghillie suit and had a scoped AK-74. I was once killed by someone like that.

The server crashed.