John's Kickstarter Pitch, Transcribed

"Hi motherfuckers!

I'm doing like this project on the tropes vs. the abortions of homogay colored babies in video games.

I'm like very surprised that, like, no one's done an analysis of the abortions of homo colored babies in video games, 'cause there's a lotta them.

Here's an example from the 21st century cartoon Samurai Jack:

[Show clip of Samurai Jack killing Chinese dragon monster]

As you can see, this cartoon is, like, super boring. My plan is to analyze video games in the same way I just analyzed this cartoon.

I will analyze just twelve video games, although there are lots with the problems. I will put twelve analysises videos on the Internet, one each month. But I won't do it without your kickstarter help. I need 150,000 dollars.

It takes a lot of time to research shit, and money means time, and time means money, and money means 150,000 dollars, so I can make like the tropes vs. the fag aborted fetuses that are black in video games."