Red Dead Redemption's Gameplay is Boring

Originally this was going to be a thorough review of Red Dead Redemption, but after doing some googling and realizing that there were already (And this number is incredible!) seven billion reviews of the game, I decided that all I wanted to do was stop playing boring, overrated, singleplayer games, leave my bedroom, and see other humans.

But then I came to my senses, "I need to review this! Why?! Because...Because I don't know why!" Okay that's not a good start. But, I do know what I want to say about this game, and in one sentence it is:

The game part of the game is boring. This is because, once you've shot a few dozen people on foot and on horse, you know how to beat the remaining fifteen hours of the main quest line. I'm being serious. To survive the game's shootouts all you have to do is follow a few rules: don't overexpose yourself to bullets and cougars; shoot horses from under enemies if you're playing on Hard; carry medicine and dead-eye refillers; don't get surrounded by enemies; shoot the enemy. And that's it. It is about figuring out what those rules are (you're welcome) and almost never about figuring out anything else or mastering any skill. The gameplay IS that shallow.

The main quest line takes about 15-20 hours to do, assuming that it is all you do, which is what I recommend, since most of the side quests and extra "challenges" tend to be find-and-fetch quests, or another boring shootout. The "rewards" for doing the sidequests are amusing dialogue and money or ammo, something you also get from main quests. And the "rewards" for the "challenges" are money and "fame," which, when great enough, makes most of the citizenry greet and talk about you (John Marsten). And I don't want to talk about XBOX live achievements.

Really, it's a best-selling shame that the writing and characters (and music, and sound effects, and visual representation of the old West) are so good in Red Dead Redemption. I finished the game only for its story.

Oh yeah. One more thing. I played the Undead Nightmare DLC. It's worse. The dialogue is weaker. The story is unoriginal. Its special zombies are lame -- they are boring versions of Left 4 Dead 2's special infected, who are probably the only zombies who require that you slow down time; for the other zombies just run backwards while shooting at heads. And yes, I just taught you how to beat the game; yes it's that boring. There's this feeling of half-assedness to Undead Nightmare. Even the voice actors sound less in to it. Although, since this is a paragraph of cons and I would like to end it with something utterly bad, the worst thing about this DLC is that one of the main quests is a fetch quest involving plants.

I cannot recommend Red Dead Redemption, but if you do get it, do NOT get Undead Nightmare, because it really sucks.