INSULTING POST TIME!

Yes, this post is about the Mass Effect ending. WHY THE FUCK DO WE CARE SO MUCH ABOUT IT?!

Not to say that I'm anti-children. The Take Back Mass Effect Campaign, which is currently at over $76,000 in donations, is, I realize, not just a cry for the changing of the ME3 ending, but sorta-primarily a helping of children. (Conspiracy theory time: Maybe Bioware made the ending bad on purpose, so that they could get more people to help children. A conspiracy to help children! Genius!)

But seriously, what's wrong with us? Why are we so worked up over an ending to a trilogy that wasn't even that good?!

Yes, I am not shitting (on?) you! And I will now make references!

For example, one of the reasons the Mass Effect games weren't particularly good was that the power, the interestingness of their average sentence (let's admit it) was low; this was probably because many of the characters were weak.

What's the best way to get rid of fun/interesting sentences? Get rid of fun/interesting characters! (Likewise, what's the best way to get rid of boring sentences? Kill off characters like Miranda Lawson, Kaiden Alenko, Ashley Williams, and Jacob Boringface)

And let's also admit that Bioware's take on 3rd person, chest-high cover gameplay was almost never "fun." And this is a way bigger negative thing then the ME3 ending, as shooting was at least a third of the experience. Not to say that, say, Gears of War was particularly fun to play either (to actually "enjoy" the GoW 2 -- the one I played -- you had to play it on at least hard difficulty, with a friend, whom you could talk to).

So with these major cons, what's the deal? This is, of course, a rhetorical question, for I think I know the answer.

The deal is, many people invested too much of themselves into the narratives and characters. There are people who played the first two games multiple times (wtf?) -- they suffered the boring gameplay and dialogue of the first games more than once -- in order to make different Commander Shepards. The poor souls. How meaningless their lives are! Oh, just thinking of them makes me feel sad. I can't write anymore....