Joe Danger: Special Edition (for XBLA) Singleplayer Review

This is the game that challenges the review-scorer in me to grow balls. The nice thing about having a simply-out-of-five rating scale is that it makes the purchase-making decision easier for the reader. The bad thing about it is that it makes me feel like the game is not getting the score it truly deserves. At the end of this review I will decide, finally, if I'm doing whole-stars or out-of-ten ratings.

Joe Danger: Special Edition is a cartoony, Trials HD-style game, developed by the ten-man studio Hello Games. In Joe Danger you play as Joe Danger, an overweight Evel Knievel man who must drive his motorcycle from the starting line at the left to the finish line at the right. In between the beginnings and ends he'll need to navigate around and through obstacles, collecting manifold, shiny, floaty things, all while doing daredevil tricks, such as "the Superman." Do it all and you'll unlock achievements, avatar costumes, and playable stereotypes (such as the Native American Joe-ronimo).

The game actually has plenty of personality, although I'm not sure if I like it. It seems determined to get an E10+ ESRB rating, with its plethora of smiling and its lack of blood and its use of colors other than brown. The game's few songs are of a genre I can't identify. And the word "groovy" is thrown around a few times, but I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the game.

The writing in the game, in general, is trite, and is never spoken by anyone, except for the announcer, whose vocabulary is limited to things like, "JoooOOOOOE DAAYNJERRrr!!" and "WOOOOAAaaaah!!" There are a few okay jokes that get repeated, like "The Must See Show, That You Must See," and something like, "An Unmissible Event, That You Can't Miss!" There are a few good rhymes, like "Joe Danger, Master of Disaster." But all these are swamped by the utterly boring, cliche wordings, like "It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Joe Danger!" and "Prepare to be shocked and awed!" I guess this game ain't for Iraqi children.

And it is not. It's not written in Arabic, and it is set in New Mexico/Arizona (often in the desert), and these are the locations of half of the game, along with a giant laboratory setting, which comprises another fourth of the game (that's a total of 3/4 of the game). A bit unfortunately, both of these locations' courses basically play the same, and even share the same music, cheering crowd, mole (the animal), and announcer. The other other fourth of the game is also set in labs or America, but comprises a two-player mode and a level-design tool, neither of which I touched.

However, despite the sameyness of the environs and sounds, and the blandness of the wordage, the obstacles and deaths are quite good. I heard somewhere that Trials HD has nuclear bombs as obstacles. Well, Joe Danger doesn't have nuclear bombs, but it does have for obstacles: spikes, frowning bombs, conveyor belts, possessed totems that go up and down and smash the ground, sharks, hurdles, school buses, and other stuff, most of which use the physics engine and the high speed at which Joe usually goes, to bring us joy; or annoyance. That last word being the cue to talk about how this game does goals and challenge and why it does and doesn't work.

I've basically mentioned that you must collect shiny things and do tricks and cross the finish line (preferably before the time runs out) to beat the game. Well actually you could just cross the finish line. But on almost every track: that is too easy. In fact, just focusing on one challenge at a time, like -- get as large a trick combo as you can to win the bronze-to-silver-to-gold trophy AND cross the finish line-- is too easy. If you want the game to be challenging at all before the very final courses, you'll need do the Pro Medal challenges, which are basically the following: In one run of a pro medal course, get all the collectables while doing tricks and cross the finish line before the time runs out. Some of those challenges are ludicrously hard! Partially because of the controls, which are most of the buttons on the 360 controller, but also because of the game's later courses, which can be long; some of them are a minute and a half long (and that's if you're driving fast)! Making sure you're always doing a trick and responding with the right button combinations to the obstacles approaching at 60 mph, as you try to cross the finish line in time, is, well, practically impossible without memorizing what comes after what on the track. Memorization, not mastering the controls, is the key. And I actually have no problem with this.

But I do have a problem with restarting long tracks over a hundred times because of random things I keep crashing into near the end of said tracks. Why? Because I don't like seeing the same things over and over again, especially when those things aren't particularly interesting or fun. "Why am I memorizing the locations of obstacles and the best timing for button pressings on this track, and seeing these now-boring cartoon things over and over again, when I could be playing Super Meat Boy? Or reading an interesting book? Or helping children? Or playing with my friends?!" Those are the thoughts I had while I re-"played" many long levels too many times.

The game also has a bug that prevented me from seeing an object I was trying to move around during some of the puzzle levels. Also, some spike traps get placed really close to other shiny objects that prevent you from seeing them as you approach at 60mph.

And now the rating! Oh, how hard it is for me to give what will be perceived as a low score, to a team of ten people. And will it be stars? Let me check below. Yes it will.

In light of everything I've said above (and please note: that I only touched the singleplayer aspect and didn't fool around with the level designer), and in light of that there are and will be other games like this of arguably superior quality, I call this, overall, a good game.

★★★☆☆