We Need to Hold Long, Addictive Games to a High Standard

Let's admit it. We don't do this. Just look at our disgraceful metacritic scores!

Mass Effect (XBOX 360): 91%

Mass Effect 2 (XBOX 360): 96%

Mass Effect 3 (XBOX 360): 93%

Diablo 2: 88%

Final Fantasy Past VII: 90%

Empire: Total War: 90%

Napolean: Total War: 81%

Many more addictive, long, boring games: 90%

Most of these games offer repetitive, drama-less, intellectually bankrupt, poorly-written, ridiculously time-consuming, addictive experiences. Yet games critics keep rating them as wonderful experiences!

How can this be explained? In the only way it can be: there is something wrong with most games critics. How can they so highly rate such boring games? It makes me ask myself as I shower, "Have the games journalists ever lived? Have they ever been in love with someone? Have they ever made love to someone? Have they ever been around the world and seen the amazing graphics and heard the exotic sounds? Have they ever done interesting things in their lives outside of games?

Some of them, yes. But the way metacritic paints this, "some of them" means, like, "five."