Super Meat Boy Review?

I started playing this game in 2010, and according to the Steam achievements list I'm only 33% done with it! Which is great, because I love it! And just now as I typed the last sentence, I realized that I have a late reviewer's problem. (Darn you -- Spending 2011 In the Jungle Gamer Hell!) All my readers (all of them I say!) already know enough 'review' of the Super Meat Boy; you heard all about it from others OR you've already played a lot of it. Reading my carnality-filled review of it would be a boring waste of your time. Here: ★★★★★! That's the Stage Zero Super Meat Boy review score!

So, in light of this, instead of a review, I'm going to write something of a How-to-Enjoy guide, because I won't lie: for my first ten hours of Super Meat Boy, I didn't really like it.

And now, my secret to enjoying Super Meat Boy, that I give to you, is: to play it a level or two a day. Not at first, of course! The Light World 'Forest levels' are so easy that you might as well play them all in a sitting or two. And the first Light World 'Salt Factory' levels are also easy enough that you might want to do half of them per day (for only two days). But as for the rest of the game, one or two levels a day. Why? Because the game gets HARD. There are actual people who claim to have spent ACTUAL DAYS on a single (actual) level (for the record, those people are terrible at Super Meat Boy). But gamer elitism aside, I do recommend playing only a few levels a day because, if you don't, you will feel frustrated. The stress of doing hard level after hard level after hard level will build up, and the game will feel monotonous (it is after all a 300+ level game based on only a few gameplay mechanics). And to reinforce this point, remember this: Edmund McMillen (half of the Super Meat Boy team, Team Meat) said in a Gamasutra interview: "I don't want people to invest more than an hour plus into a play session, it seems unfair. That's not what I'm about." Is this a quote about not making evil marathon-game-session games and is therefore awesome? Yes! Is it taken out of context? Definitely not!

Another smaller tip, which doubles as purchasing advice: when you play with the gamepad (PC players! You'll want a working gamepad! I'm not sure if it's better than the keyboard but I act like it is! I'm not sorry!) Use the right trigger as your run button. Trying to hold down the blue X-button and the yellow A-button at the same time with the same finger will tire out that thumb and make you press "run" or "jump" when you don't want to.

And one more purchasing tip (Oh good! This is sort of a review!). It is: if you have a 360 and don't have a PC that can run 360 games at 1080p, and you want Super Meat Boy NOW, then go ahead and get it (for 360). Both versions come with certain perks, but the nice thing about the XBOX 360 version is that it won't have any bugs. I.e. the PC version may have bugs. Not game-ruining ones, but still, bugs. It's just the issue of having a developer of two people patch a game for every PC configuration: AKA impossible. But if you really really want SMB on Steam, go ahead and wait for your PC to upgrade. It's not a beautiful game, but it is a cool-looking one with a very particular aesthetic that you'll want to play at at least 1080p at 60-ish FPS.

Super Meat Boy (by Team Meat) is available on XBLA and Steam for $15.00 (800 gamerpoints). The PC version was released on Nov. 30, 2010. The XBOX 360 version was released on October 20, 2010. Since then it has been downloaded over one million times. It is also available for Mac and Linux.